I wish I knew then ..what I (think) I know now.

You finally have a chance to get out to dinner with your girlfriends. It might have been months since you’ve seen them and you might only get out for a few hours, but it’s officially come to the point where you NEED that dinner in order to survive. You sit down, order some apps and before you know it you’re going on and on about your kids.  They’re obviously rolling their eyes out of boredom and you end the conversation with, “I can’t wait until you all have to go through this!” While I really can’t wait for them to go through it, I later realized there were so many things I wish someone had told me before having kids, other than, “you just wait!”

Sleep being the most obvious. Those Saturday’s that you woke up at 7am thinking how you didn’t want to waste the day away are no more. You waste that day away and love every second of it. Don’t take the whole no more sleeping in thing too seriously.. sure, you might have the opportunity to sleep in when you’re husband wakes up early with the kids, but then during cranky hour he’ll be wanting to go to the gym and it’s just not worth the extra hour of sleep you’ll get. 

Netflix & chill as much as possible, because forget the chill and your Netflix will only consist of binge watching Baby Einsteins. The days of sitting on the couch after a long day of work and turning your favorite show on are long gone. When you do actually get the time to relax in front of the tv, I give it ten minutes before you’re snoring on the couch.

“Diapers are so expensive!” Diapers?? No, the cost of diapers is nothing compared to EVERYTHING else you’ll be paying for. The Wubbanub pacifier will cost you $13.00, that’s just a glimpse into how expensive kids are – $13.00 for a pacifier!!!

You will no longer remember anything. The color coded calendar that will take up majority of your refrigerator will be essential in order for you to remember where you have to go and when. Names, dates and times will mean nothing to you unless it’s written on that calendar.

Ya know that list that Babies R Us gives you when you go to register? The one that is like three pages long of things you never even knew existed. The chances of you needing half of that shit are slim. There is a total of like five things you could get and be perfectly fine for the next three years. All of the baby clothes – just wash which ones they’re going to wear because you’ll be returning a ton of them and buying what you’ll really need ..diapers.

Labor? Piece of cake. After labor is the real kicker. You will still be in so much pain, and for weeks! Walking will be a chore and forget going up and down the steps. Stock up on pads – I think you know what for and TUCKS, if you don’t know what that’s for – ask your grandmom or google it. I’ve never had a c-section so I really don’t have any advice for after, but your body was cut open and a baby was pulled out, I think it’s safe to say you’ll be in pain. The whole boob thing, whether you breastfeed or not, there is pain involved.

Leaving the house to do anything will be like going on a trip for three weeks. A simple trip to ACME will now turn into a full on production. Packing a ton of shit in the diaper bag you won’t need, but have to have JUST IN CASE. You could buy anything you forgot, but no.. you pack it anyway. A simple five-minute Wawa run will now turn into a 45 minute excursion of crying, yelling and running. A quick out to dinner trip because you forgot to leave meat out to defrost during the day will now turn into food all over the floor and bathroom trips. And there is a good chance your kids won’t eat what they order anyway, they’ll always want to eat yours.

Who you were before you had kids will be long gone once that baby arrives. It’s like the world completely shifts and life as you know it is forever different. You will now do and say things that you never in a million years thought you would. Forget that person, because they are long gone now and chances are, you won’t even want that person to come back.

I would try to tell you about the love that you will experience ..but there are just no words to describe it. GOOD LUCK, you’ll need it.

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