AHHHHHHHHH Breastfeeding.

Apparently, National Breastfeeding Month is an actual thing and it’s during the whole month of August. Cool. There is an entire month dedicated to BREASTFEEDING. For all of you mothers who couldn’t (maybe not that you didn’t want to) breastfeed ..let that sink in.

I wanted to be one of those moms. The moms who you see hair flying in the wind, baby on boob, don’t-give-a-shit-who-sees-my-babys-eating attitude, I wanted to be that mom! Sorta.¬†With Tony, I was 19 years old when I had him and the thought of breastfeeding made me cringe. I was just a baby myself so thinking of something eating from my nipple made me feel like a cow. My attitude was that I just wasn’t ready to be milked.

I’ve grown up with social media so it’s no shock that it has had a huge influence on pretty much every aspect of my life. Sad, but let’s be honest.. it’s true. Breastfeeding being one of them. Much like the new sweater my favorite “lifestyle” blogger just posted that naturally I HAVE to have now, I see a woman breastfeeding and feel like it’s something I have to do. Just like I would 100% go buy that sweater, I see these perfect mother/child breastfeeding pictures and had to do it. It actually made me feel like I wasn’t as good of a mom as those women – I knowwww I’m not the only one who has thought that too.

I received a ton of advice from family members and friends, “just get through the first two weeks and you’ll be fine,” and “it’s the best thing for the baby,” I was determined. Long story short – after spending a fortune on lactation cookies that tasted like shit, drank A Mother’s Milk Tea twice a day and talked to more than one lactation consultant – it didn’t work, I didn’t produce enough milk and gave up. Tried again with Daniel, it didn’t work, I didn’t produce enough milk and gave up.

Yes. I gave up. But my kids, who were all formula fed, are healthy AF. Judge me. I’m not apart of that Society of Women who Breastfeed (no offense, I tried) and there is no month dedicated to me ..but there should be. I still feed my baby just like a breastfeeding mother does. I still am able to look into my babes eyes and bond with him just like a breastfeeding mother does. My child is just as happy as a breastfed baby is. So lets stop judging women who didn’t breastfeed and stop separating those who have and haven’t.

IF YOU DIDN’T BREASTFEED, who gives a shit. I promise it will not be on the list of things your kid will resent you for one day.

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